Beauty Looks Like — Dr. Nicole Wagner
Meet Dr. Nicole Wagner, Behavioral Health Professional, who's beauty journey brought her to a place to stop looking in the mirror for validation and begin looking within. We invited her to share her beauty journey in discovering “Beauty looks like ME!”
What does beauty look like to you? A woman walking in her purpose with humility and confidence unapologetically.
Tell us your journey to seeing and saying beauty looks like you. Some years ago I wrote a blog titled "She Had To Lose Herself To Find Herself", in 2021 this blog was featured in True Self Magazine. As I began my journey of truly seeing my beauty both inner and outer, I looked for a few things. Here started the pouring of questions: 1. How do I reboot my mind to not only believe; but know that I am a beautiful goddess? 2. How was I going to unapologetically own my perception of my beauty? 3. How could I see the beauty of others if I am blind to my own?
My Story: You wouldn't believe it to look at me now but I have not always been confident, and don't dare try to capture me in a mirror or pictures. I'm truly one of a kind, extraordinary if you will called like many of us to leave my mark and to make a profound impact on others. But how was I to do that as a prisoner within my own existence. Constantly replaying the echoing sounds of being called ugly and black. Repeatedly told by many that nobody would ever love me, I found myself living a masked and high risk life. I grew up in foster care and wouldn't you know it, all the girls were so pretty and well liked by staff, other girls and boys. And there I was this short "fat" ugly black girl that didn't fit in nowhere. These feelings became so overwhelming that I began entertaining thoughts of taking my life. After all no one saw me anyway because I wasn't "pretty".
As I transitioned into my teenage life I found myself subjected to the bullying of man because I simply didn't fit the script of what "they thought" beauty was. Looking back now, if only I had this confidence then I would have spared myself so much pain, distortion and wasted time. Fast forwarding to adulthood and now a single mother with repeated failed relationships with men, I was still wanting to be accepted by others. Multiple suicide attempts would become my solution along with the removal of all mirrors from my home. I mean who wants to see an ugly reflection staring back at them. I had succumb to the reality that if I didn't want to be alone I had better accept what/who I could get or I would be the lady with lots of cats. So I found myself in a number of toxic and unfulfilling relationships. I didn't know who I was anymore, but did I ever. Fast forward beyond the pain. I grew tired with the confusion of my existence. I was tired of being tired of making everyone else happy but me. God placed some very influential people in my life both men and women who have spoken life into me. But it didn't become real until I began to motivate myself. As I woke up in the hospital that last time I tried to take my life, a nurse was holding my hand and said "welcome back, it would have been a shame to lose you because you have work to do". As I stand as the woman I am today, I'm grateful for His mercy and grace.
God spared me for a reason, my ugly yet oh so beautiful scars of pain have all been used for the greater good. God turned my mess into a message not just for all females but anyone battling with identity of self. I am so very proud of my journey of finding myself because the discoveries made along the way have been beautiful as well. God gave me a personable testimony. I stopped looking in the mirror for validation of my beauty and began looking within.
How do you exude beauty on a daily basis? By uplifting and empowering others.
What woman embodies your definition of beauty? Andrea Dukes, Mia Colfield, Juanita Holland, Dr.Suyi Park, Jocelyn Bratton-Payne, Muriam Cinvert
What could you share with a young girl who struggles with seeing beauty in the mirror? Your beauty is not in the eyes of others but you and God. Do not allow the obsessively compulsive and overwhelming need to be validated as such.
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What does beauty look like? Join us throughout the month of March as we celebrate our second annual #BeautyLooksLikeME — showcasing beauty through the faces, stories and backgrounds of beautiful African American women. Beauty. Looks. Like. YOU! See it. Say it. Share it.
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